Dreams & desires

20 in 2020 (or, Gently Welcoming Dreams and Goals Back Into My Life)

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In 2009, for my 36th birthday, I wrote a blog post called 36 Before 37 listing 36 things I intended to do before I turned 37. Reflective and goal-oriented lists were big at the time in the world of blogging, but seem to have fallen out of practice these days.

Today I felt like resurrecting the practice.

Voici, in no particular order, 20 things I would like to do in 2020:

  1. finish 100 collages from the cube

  2. work my way up to 30 minutes of movement 3 times a week, maintain this for at least 6 weeks in a row - preferably more

  3. get a working fireplace in the living room, this may or may not include having it re-faced

  4. show my art at a local venue

  5. try selling prints online

  6. take a class or workshop related to textiles (rug hooking, weaving, embroidery, etc.)

  7. take a creative class or workshop in real life (IRL) vs. online

  8. make a loaf of no-knead bread

  9. dip my toes in Lake Superior

  10. see Picasso: Painting the Blue Period at the Art Gallery of Ontario plus at least two more art exhibitions on my short list for 2020 (blog post on this to come soon)

  11. finish the latch hook rug I started last fall

  12. take a trip somewhere new with D.

  13. take Daphnie - our pop-up camper - out camping at least 3 times this summer somewhere OTHER than our driveway

  14. do a solo getaway

  15. go see a live concert with D.

  16. hang artwork on the dining room walls

  17. get a mammogram

  18. replace the old fences in our front yard

  19. replace the outdoor shed

  20. host a party or gathering in our home

And because I like flexibility and it’s hard for me to declare a list finite, here are a few honourable mentions:

  • take a surface pattern design course

  • scan my Sketches from the Cube, all 400 of them (500 if I achieve #1)

  • get the dental work I’ve been avoiding done

  • go down East twice

  • move to the country (<— WHOA!)

And because I feel like throwing caution to the wind:

  • achieve inner peace

I haven’t allowed myself to dream and look ahead in several years so I’m a bit out of practice. I welcome the process with a mixture of skepticism, faith and determination.

Just for today I’ll take that.

.:.

What’s your 20 in 2020?

In spirit of discovery,

Stephanie

Q&A Session With Resistance (or, Who are we to...?)

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Back in February I stumbled upon a passage in Julia Cameron's book, The Sound of Paper, that posed the question:

"If I found myself and my thoughts interesting, what might I try?"

One of the answers I ventured was penning the framework for creative living that's been surfacing over and over in my journal for the past seven years, for creating a life of intention and choice and alignment and joy.

The call to structure and capture this framework is coming in loud and clear these days. Of course this means that resistance, in its quest to protect me, is coming in loud and clear too:

"Do you really have it in you to do this? It takes time and energy. You're tired. It's probably easier not to start."

"Don't do it, there are trolls and mean people out there. If you publish your thoughts they will say mean things and it will break your heart. Do you really want your heart broken? Keep it to yourself. It's safer."

And the classic:

"Who are you to write a framework about creative living? You have no authority on the subject.”

About that last one...

Yesterday I was sifting through some old files and found the draft for a February post where I first wrote about Ms Cameron's question and admitted my desire to capture my framework for creative living. Apparently I'd originally written a second part to my reflection – a second, powerful part that didn't get published on the blog:

"Who do I think I am to do this [pen a framework for creative living]?"

Turns out I had several answers:

I am a person who truly believes in the power of choice and that we can create a life of alignment.

I am a person whose journalling practice has been producing and outlining a particular framework for the past seven years.

I am a person who practices the framework – albeit not always consciously, lives it and discovers its challenges, joys and nuances as she goes along.

I am a person who dislikes self-help clichés yet knows that sometimes things become cliché because they hold a kernel of truth.

I am a person who believes we have our own answers within, sometimes we just need a little prompting to ask ourselves the questions.

I am a person who has nothing to lose in penning this framework except her own time and effort, but has a lot to gain in clarity.

BAM!

Stephanie, 1. Resistance, 0.

Onward, I say.

.:.


Who are YOU to...?

Following Ms Cameron's prompt, the next time your resistance asks you who you are to do something, try answering it.

"I am a person who..."

Write down your answers. It's pretty powerful.

In spirit of discovery,

Stephanie