A Different Kind of Tired (or, A Catch-Up Post)

I've been quiet here, but there's a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes.

There's my 9-5 job: a rush to a deadline that, for the past several weeks, has left me with very little energy to do anything other than order takeout and watch episode after episode of Edwardian Farm. PJ's on by 7PM on many a weeknight, weekend time preciously guarded for restoration.

There's learning: a Camera 101 workshop to learn how to use D.'s “big camera” followed by some camera play & practice, plus multiple books waiting for me at the library to help me figure out how to use this tool to create the types of images I want to create.

There's art: new art books from the bookstore, art books borrowed from the library, a painting started on the art table, quick portrait sketches from the cube – an attempt to rest my weary left brain during my lunch break at work. There's also an itch to see works by the masters, maybe at the National Gallery of Canada?

 Sketches from the Cube, mechanical pencil on notepad paper, approx. 2 1/2" x 2 1/2"

Sketches from the Cube, mechanical pencil on notepad paper, approx. 2 1/2" x 2 1/2"

There's reading: personal finance books, art books, Life's Big Questions books, light fiction and just-for-fun books. So. many. glorious books.

There's healing: moving through a bout of anxiety (thankfully short-lived!), a gentle expansion of my world outside of work and home, re-surfacing after what feels like a two-year sleep, a re-emergence of dreams & desires – some new, some picked up again after having been on hold for a while.

There's reflection: what do I want to do with my life? Yeah, that kind of reflection.

Last year, feeling exhausted, I had no interest whatsoever in any of this. This year, despite feeling drained and behind the eight ball, I do.

Tired and indifferent vs. tired and engaged, two very different kinds of tired.

Both require rest, but one of them feels much lighter to the soul.

I'll take that kind of tired in a heartbeat.

~~~

What about you? What have you been up to lately? Tell me.