For the first time in months...

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For the first time in months she felt like dancing, and rediscovered the feminine curve of her hips.

For the first time in months she drank wine, and remembered how it was to laugh.

For the first time in months she drove her car on the highway, windows cracked open, free from anxiety and fear, and she felt joy.

For the first time in months she decided to take a walk by herself, and delighted in her speedy and assertive step.

For the first time in months, one day at a time, she rediscovers what she once took for granted.

For the first time in months she feels at peace, and just for today, that is enough.

Rest, restore, rejuvenate.

Preamble: After several image-focused posts here I wasn't sure what to write today, but my spidey senses were telling me to write again so here I am. You don't mess with spidey senses.

~~~

This weekend was the last weekend of our two-week vacation and yesterday both D. and I were perplexed by an ongoing dilemma of “We should really do something fun and go out with a bang”, vs. “but I don't feel like it.”

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Our first week of vacation was spent here. It was bliss.

It was an interesting – and mildly annoying – back & forth and though I can't speak for D., my own inner conflict was fraught with “shouldas”, fear of missing out (also known as FOMO), beating myself up for being lazy and complacent, and amidst the chatter, a tiny voice that offered:

“What if you just took it easy today?”

As I worked my way through the inner noise to stillness I discovered that no, I wasn't lazy and complacent (well, maybe a little), but that even if I was, it was OK. I really just wanted to lay low and putter.

I have nothing against outings or excitement – hello, 2013 included a trip to Europe AND a new house purchase, but these past few weeks off work were flavoured with a whole lotta sitting, napping and being, and you know what? “Shoulda” dilemmas aside, it was pretty frickin' sweet.

Rest, restore, rejuvenate. It's all part of the cycle, it's up to us to allow it its rightful space.

I guess this year, that's what vacation was all about.